Relationships & Attachment
Childhood experiences including inconsistency in parental support, critical or judgemental caregivers, parents who are emotionally or physically unavailable, divorce, and much more can significantly impact future relationships. You may develop an anxious or avoidant attachment style that interferes with your ability to form meaningful connection or have healthy long term relationships with others. Our attachment specialists can help you cultivate trust and safety, strengthening your sense of self-worth and security with others.
Attachments styles & common challenges
Anxious Attachment
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Anxious attachment style typically develops during early childhood as a result of mis-attuned or inconsistent parenting. This inconsistency might make it difficult for the child to understand what the parents’ behavior means and what kind of response to expect in the future. They may also have caregivers who seek excessive closeness with their children in order to satisfy their own needs, rather than their children’s.
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Common characteristics of anxious attachment include low self-esteem, an intense fear of rejection or abandonment, and clingy behavior in relationships. Anxious attachment can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. They seek intimacy and closeness and are highly dependent on others. The presence of a loved one feels like a remedy for their strong emotional needs, but this dependence ends up causing chronic anxiety, insecurity and low self-worth.
Avoidant Attachment
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Avoidant attachment style typically develops as a result of cargivers who are reserved and seem to back off when the child reaches out for support, reassurance and affection. The child expresses a need for closeness, but instead of receiving it, they perceive that it isn't permitted or safe to do so.
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Common characteristics of avoidant attachment includes avoiding strong displays of closeness and intimacy. Keeping a safe distance from deep emotional connection or vulnerability. As soon as things get serious, avoidant individuals are likely to close themselves off, or find a reason to end a relationship. Not being able to build a deep, meaningful, and long-lasting relationships can be painful for people with this attachment style. It can also be very difficult for the ones who love them.
Disorganised Attachment​
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Disorganised attachment is usually caused by chronic abuse or neglect, leaving the child fearful of their caregivers. The child does not know what to expect, if the caregiver will meet their needs, or if they will be harmed.
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Individuals with disorganised attachment want to be loved, but are also afraid to let anyone in and may believe that the people close to them will hurt them. Although they crave relationships and intimacy, they expect and are waiting for the rejection, disappointment, and hurt to come. They often struggle with trust and may avoid relationships altogether, or engage in self-sabotage causing relationships to end prematurely.
How we can help
Our attachment therapists are dedicated to helping you cultivate the inner safety and love you may not have received as a child. Utilizing attachment-based therapies, including Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), somatic therapy, and compassion-focused techniques, we guide you on a path to emotional well-being. Together, we work with you to improve emotional regulation, heal past wounds, deepen internal security, and foster healthy relationships.